Leveling Up Your Mental Health with Dr. Nahla
This month at MWP, we’re continuing the discussion around mental health as the focus of our self-care. Whether you’ve tended to your mental health for a while, or have just begun to, we want to give every MWP the opportunity to level up their self-care, especially in these changing times. As many countries begin to open up again, and the world begins to usher in a small semblance of normalcy, we expect big shifts in our comfort in ourselves and in our environments. To learn more about how to manage our mental health now and in the long run, we sat with Dr. Nahla, a psychiatry resident, and mental health content creator.
TO LEARN MORE MENTAL HEALTH GUIDANCE AND FIND SUPPORT FROM DR. NAHLA, FOLLOW HER ON HER INSTAGRAM @IMDOCTORNAHLA AND ON TIKTOK @DOCTORNAHLA.
June 5, 2021
1. Tell us about yourself professionally and personally.
My name is Nahla and I am a medical graduate and will be starting my psychiatry residency in a few weeks. I come from a Syrian Canadian, first generation immigrant family. Alongside my profession, I also post about mental health on Tiktok and Instagram. It was actually my experience through the pandemic that led me to that calling. While I grew up in Canada, I attended medical school in Australia.
I remember March 2020 very vividly. I came back home to Canada just to take one board exam, complete a couple volunteering observerships, and then return to Australia for work. The pandemic began and everything in my seemingly foolproof plan had fallen through. Like many, I felt hopeless then. The opportunities I wanted I couldn’t have, and the job I loved, I could not go back to. Really my job was my whole identity before and I could not return to any of it.
But the thing that saved me was social media. From my friends’ encouragement, I started to make videos on TikTok. They started to do very well, and soon enough went viral. I started only in August last year, and I’ve been doing it ever since. I quickly realized that creating content on social media could be a source of learning and comfort for myself and many others.
2. How do you prioritize mental health in your life when you’re starting out?
No matter where you are in your mental health journey, self reflection and awareness are always valuable. Start there. To figure out what works best for you, think about what’s going on within you. What does it look like for you to be stressed? Tired? Angry? What brings you joy? What brings you discomfort?
These are the most common emotions people have been feeling, especially during this pandemic. What does it look like to feel these things? Everybody’s different. For me, if I’m burned out, I get angry and frustrated. However, some people respond to burnout by withdrawing from friends and family. Be aware of these reactions in your body.
Also, reflect on the relationships in your life. That was probably the catalyst for me, reflecting on the relationship I had for a year and a half. I had no idea until I reflected that it was incredibly abusive. I realized I never wanted that to happen to me again, and never wanted to do what I had to do to survive an abusive situation. When I left the relationship, it was therapy that helped me recognize and name the abuse.
3. How did you get to the point where you could recognize the issues in your mental health?
Well, I thought about what brought me to that abusive relationship. I reflected on my friendships, my family, how I grew up, my attachment styles, my personality. I know there are so many terms out there and it can be overwhelming. But I believe they’re beneficial to a certain extent because attaching language to what we feel can be a catalyst for change. You can pinpoint it then you can take steps to do something about it.
I would start with these moments of recognition. Then from that point, you can start going to therapy, use journals to write down your feelings, even use apps to monitor your well-being. Therapy isn’t the only answer, but it is definitely a valuable tool on your journey.
4. You mention therapy and how that’s always an option. In many communities, even in Muslim ones, therapy is still met with a lot of intimidation. What is your opinion on how important therapy is for your own mental health?
Therapy is probably a bare-minimum resource to use because that specific support in your journey is invaluable. I don’t think you should ever go at it alone. There are definitely people in our life that can help us but it shouldn’t be their burden to bear. Why are people intimidated by someone who’s literal job is to be there for you, a therapist? They got a degree and years of training to be your therapist, there’s no room for that stigma anymore. I see where it’s coming from, but I think we’re dismantling it slowly.
I hope in the near future people won’t associate therapy with fear or shame. It’s the least intimidating thing to me. To be honest, I’m way more intimidated to talk to a friend the way I talk to a therapist. Let’s work to normalize having someone there to support us.
5. As the U.S. opens back up, what struggles do you anticipate people could have with adjusting to post-pandemic life?
Everyone’s reactions to this will be different and all are valid. In general, I presume folks are going to feel a lot of pressure to go into public spaces, gatherings, parties, etc. If you don’t feel ready, if you want to take it slowly, or even if, over the last year, you’ve developed any form of social anxiety or discomfort, that is completely normal.
Over almost two years, all of us have been made to equate social gatherings with danger. It’s going to take a while for that fear to go away. Some people are going back to back into social settings really easily, but don’t feel bad if it’s harder for you. On the other side, those who actually relished the lockdown -- those who have a form of social anxiety before, homebodies, are more introverted -- there might not be such a difference. Everyone’s reactions are valid and totally fine to feel.
I was an extrovert before this and a lot of my personality changed, but not necessarily in a bad way. It was adaptive and for many people that is the case. So going back to our jobs, families, and friends might be difficult because we may have changed so much. And not just our personality, but our bodies, our hair, skin, weight. There may be a huge anxiety attached to that because of the comments we may receive.
In minority communities, those comments can be more in-your-face, so I know it can be tough. For me, I don’t want to see lots of people because I know what they could say about my body, skin, etc. I hate that those are what’s highlighted when they see me, even if I don’t care about it much myself.
So if I can suggest anything when meeting people again, please don’t comment on someone’s appearance. Rather comment on how much you missed seeing them. Be gentle with folks, we’ve all changed and with good reason. Those of you who are reading this, feeling that anxiety about those comments, please embrace yourself and be super proud of who you are. Thank your body for surviving a global pandemic and don’t let those comments impact you.
6. As MWPs, there’s a lot of pressure for us to do it all. What tips do you have for balancing professional and family life?
You know, that question implies there is a balance, but there really isn’t. It’s not about having things perfectly tuned, because no human operates that way. Some days you’re gonna have all your energy 100%, some days you’ll have no energy at all. To me being “balanced” means accepting who you are every day of who you are, no matter what. It’s okay if yesterday you weren’t your “100% you” and if today you were your “200% you.”
As far as creating “balance” in terms of setting boundaries between those parts in your life, it won’t happen overnight. It comes with intentional practice and it’ll take time. It’s also hard to sit with the discomfort of it and that’s largely because of the responses you get from people (family, friends, people at work). They can make you feel terrible. But remember, their reactions say nothing about you.
Look at all your relationships and find out where you feel drained. When you’re with certain friends, do you feel neutral, happy, energized, or exhausted? Do the same with work and family, all your relationships. I know with work, women especially, we tend to say yes to everything, and that’s not our fault. It’s society’s for telling us we’re not valuable unless we’re producing. And at work it’s a lot harder to set boundaries at times, too, since more is usually at stake. But setting boundaries early on and slowly can make it easier.
Also, set boundaries with the people you know make you feel bad about yourself. Like with certain friends, I felt so wrong and unworthy all the time. So it’s not just about setting boundaries with people who can exhaust you, but also with those people who just make you feel like nothing. I’m happy to say I don’t engage for any longer than I’m comfortable with people who make me feel like that.
Once I stopped engaging in those friendships, that’s when I started to flourish. When you start to set boundaries, you have this temporary guilt. But you can’t even imagine how much of a positive difference it makes. Boundaries allow you to be confident in yourself and pour all of your energy back to you and those who deserve you. It’s not easy, but it is worth it. Once you get there, you no longer accept any treatment you don’t deserve or that won’t be mutually beneficial for you and your loved ones. That’s what’s so beautiful about advocating for yourself, you advocate for others, too.
